Nirjhar Kasar
2 min readJun 18, 2021

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Refusing eyesight. Cornering an Indian mother to give up the gift of life.

Born in a traditional Indian family near Reva in Madhya Pradesh, Kiran always was a less loved child. Eldest of three sister to a youngest single brother, she, was like the first in a pack of rotten apples survived by the freshest, youngest sibling. In a way her life was a safeguard, a protective shield, a defense mechanism to always be available to come what may against her brother. Married to an advocate, and again just like her mother cursed with duty to produce a son, that she could not deliver first two times, she finally redeemed herself in the third. With no inheritance whatsoever( thanks to her brother), no chance of getting any means of earnings( thanks to traditional values and pride of her husband) and respect unbeknownst ( thanks to little value to her multitude of household chores, that started from waking up to making 5 AM early morning tea, watering the plants, collecting Milk from delivery person, warming it, cooking breakfast, washing clothes, filling waterbottles, cleaning home, cleaning toilets, making lunch, afternoon tea, dinner, and not to forget, serving meals throughout the day, and then herself to her not so kind, not so caring, not so gentle man of the house) she was happy with what she had, pushing through, come what may.

Kiran, now in early 60’s, continues to do it all, with her daughters married and gone and son married and home. She is at the cross section of awakening/empowerment of women in India. Her husband and son still likes hot cooked food served on their plates, while her daughter in law is challenging patriarchy by doing her corporate unrelenting hours balancing with whatever she can at home. So, now Kiran is dancing on knifes edge, between, continuing to upkeep lifestyle of her husband and son, doing her household chores, looking after her decaying knee, her cervical and her almost disappearing eyesight, something had to give! For how long could she carry on, be wise, be understanding, now, shes grown a rigidity that did not get a chance to ease out, develop properly, reason out within her self, in her heart, in her mind, now, shes ok with disappearing eyesight, she doesn't want to wear spectacles, she doesn't want to go the doctor, many say its because she feels she will not look good, many say its because she doesn't realize how bad the situation is, many have tried to convince her, but she just doesn't want to hear it. She’s had enough.

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